The American Division of The Looney Party gathered this past weekend for its annual biweekly meeting.  At this gathering, average party members were able to enjoy fine meals and hearty drinks as well as wonderful entertainment.  In addition, these members were able to freely interact with the Party leaders through a series of as few as ten liaison officers.  During the feast of Ecilsdaerbeno, patrons were treated to a complimentary reading of Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning, by Grunthos the Flatulent—after which the nominees were unveiled so that all those there present could vote on the candidate they thought would best represent The Looney Party ideals as well as have a shot of being elected.  These votes would then be tallied to see who received the most votes.  The outcome of the vote would then be completely ignored and the Party leaders would select the person who bought them the most drinks.
    At least, that’s how things typically precede.  For this particular meeting, however, someone thought it best to forgo the poetry reading and instead have a live strip show.  This unfortunate selection of entertainment forced all the party leaders to prematurely depart on the urgent business of their being arrested.  This left the voting as the only means of determining the nominee.  So, The Looney Party now proudly reveals the name of its American 2004 Presidential nominee.  This individual won by an overwhelming margin of 100% of the one votes cast.  So, without further ado, The Looney Party’s 2004 Presidential nominee is

George W. Bush

Although this candidate has no shot of being elected, once we figure out what the hell his goals are, we are confident that they will coincide with ours.