The American Branch of  The Looney Party was recently interviewed by a famous reporter who wishes to remain anonymous because of "...the shame of being reduced to interviewing The Looney Party..." (he/she almost broke into tears). But regardless, we will print the interview as it solidly gives our political stance.

Definitely Obscured, Nameless, Anonymous, Largely Distorted Soundwise, "Objective" Newsperson: Has any member of The Looney Party ever been elected to office?

The Looney Party: Yes. In 1994.

DONALDSON: What office was that?

The Looney Party: "Homeroom runner."

DONALDSON: Homeroom runner?  What tasks did that entail?

The Looney Party: To deliver the attendance to the attendance office.

DONALDSON: (pause) Are you talking about high school?

The Looney Party: Well it WAS an office.

DONALDSON: Fine. Has the Looney Party ever held a Federal office?

The Looney Party: We prefer it if you capitalize the "t" in the "the" before our name.

DONALDSON: Ok. Has The Looney Party ever held a Federal office?

The Looney Party: Does taxpayer count?

DONALDSON: No.

The Looney Party: Census worker?

DONALDSON: No.

The Looney Party: How about citizen?

DONALDSON: Definitely not.  Listen, none of those required being elected.  Has The Looney Party ever been voted into power?

The Looney Party: We have ample political experience.

DONALDSON: Doing what?

The Looney Party: We just told you:  De-li-ver-ing the at-ten-dance.

DONALDSON: Do you have any other experience in the political arena?

The Looney Party: Congress?

DONALDSON: Yes, Congress.

The Looney Party: Well, a large number of the House Republicans are Looney Party members, they just won't admit it publicly.

DONALDSON: Really?

The Looney Party: Yes.  We've got quite a few of us there.

DONALDSON: How many?

The Looney Party: 542.

DONALDSON: There are only 535 members of Congress!

The Looney Party: 543?

DONALDSON: No.

The Looney Party: 2897.

DONALDSON: If you're not going to take this seriously I'm leaving.

The Looney Party: 567.

DONALDSON: That's it... I'm leaving (gets up).

The Looney Party: But we're paying you!

DONALDSON: Not enough. (departs)

The Looney Party: Can't even buy good press these days......